Today I will talk about the two times I could have been kidnapped - mostly to show how easily it could happen to any child.
Before I begin though, I will tell how I learned to be wary of strangers.
One night when I wasn't much older than 5 or 6, my mom decided to teach my sister and I about the danger of talking to strangers. She had little paper cut outs of girls that were supposed to represent the both of us. I don't remember exactly how the lesson went, but it ended with our paper "heads" being ripped off because we decided to go into a stranger's car.....which chilled me to the bone!
I never forgot it - and a heavy fear of strangers was instilled within me.
My first experience (that I can recall) of a stranger trying to lure me was when I was 12 years old.
We had just moved to a new neighborhood (which was considered very safe) and I decided to ride my Razor scooter around town to check it out and become familiar with it.
I was riding on the sidewalk, in the middle of the day, minding my own business - when a man in a car parked near the sidewalk next to me.
He was a Hispanic fellow, and looked to be in his late 20s-early 30s. I think the car was brown but I don't really remember - it was a smaller car though.
Anyway, he asked me "Hey, do you need a ride to go anywhere?"
MY FEAR OF STRANGERS HAS INSTANTLY BEEN TRIGGERED
....I had been taught all my life exactly what to say at a moment like this....
I calmly said, "No, I'm okay. Thank you though"
He persisted - "Are you sure? Come on, I can take you wherever you need to go"
Once again, "No, really, I'm okay."
At this point I was making a bunch of alternative plans just in case he decided to get out of the car - such as running to the nearest house (which luckily wasn't too far) and banging on the door
Luckily, and I truly believe I got lucky, he gave up and said "okay" and continued on his way.
*WHEW* I was so relieved - I'm not sure what would have happened if he had decided to come after me - but I count my blessings that I will never know. Needless to say, I was not in the mood to explore the neighborhood anymore and I went back home as quickly as I could.
The second time I was approached by a stranger was when I was 15 years old.
It was during the summer time before my junior year of high school. During this particular summer my friends and I would take the beach bus to the Santa Monica pier a few times a week.
In order for me to get to where the beach bus route began, I would ride the regular city bus for about 15 minutes to a large street called Foothill. Once I reached this street, I would have to walk about 15 minutes up a huge hill to the park where the beach bus picked up.
On this day, I had just been dropped off on Foothill by the city bus. As I was walking toward the crosswalk that would lead me to the big hill, I was approached by yet ANOTHER man in a vehicle.
This fellow was Caucasian, and looked to be in about his late 30s to mid-40s. He wasn't bad looking - he had blue eyes, an inviting smile, and a friendly personality. He was driving a large white van (sketchy, much?)
Anyway, he also pulled over and stopped by the sidewalk where I was walking, and offered the same thing as the guy in my previous story did - but instead in a more charismatic & persistent manner...
"Hey, it looks like you've got a long walk ahead of you - would you like me to give you a ride?"
Even though I was older this time and on an EXTREMELY busy street, I was still very wary of this individual and my fear of strangers kicked in again.
I said politely, "No thank you, I'm fine walking" (and I truly was!)
He persisted "Are you sure? It's pretty hot outside! Come on, just tell me where you're going and I'll help you out."
Though his intentions seemed pure, I did not falter "Nope! I'm fine, I promise. I enjoy walking."
He didn't want to stop there. Since I obviously didn't need (want) a ride from him, he was going to try a different strategy.....
"Okay! That's fine. It's good to get exercise. Just curious, what's your name?"
"Kortney"
Yup. I have a fake name for myself specifically for times like these.
"Oh what a beautiful name! Say, Kortney, if you don't mind me asking, how old are you?"
"Seventeen."
Even though I was only 15, I could easily pass for 17 and I felt that I would seem less vulnerable if I portrayed myself as older.
He responded,
"Seventeen! You're the exact same age as my son! He would love a pretty blonde like you. Is there any way I could get your number so that I can have him call you? He would be thrilled"
You've got to be freaking kidding me, I thought. I will NOT fall for this attempt to flatter me. Nope. Not buying it.
Praying he would give up soon, I said "Actually I have a boyfriend, and he wouldn't appreciate me giving out my number, sorry!" (and that actually wasn't a lie, haha)
"Oh darn" he said. "My son would love you, are you sure?"
"Yup!"
Probably realizing I wasn't worth his time, he gave up and said,
"Okay then, well I've gotta go, but I hope to see you around and maybe next time you will be available for my son! Good to meet you, Kortney!"
"You too! Bye."
He finally drove off. My goodness I was so creeped out - words cannot explain! Luckily for me, the only way that he could have taken me is if I had willingly got into the car. He couldn't have gotten out and taken me because we were on a super busy street in broad daylight, and 30 feet away was a gas station I could run into.
Another important advantage that I had with both instances, was that I was walking with traffic, not against it. Which meant that when they pulled over, the passenger's side was closest to me and the sidewalk, while the driver's side was closer to the street, and in order for them to physically take me they would have to get out on the driver's side and run around the car - so I would have had time to run away.
The biggest advantage I had, however, was that I had been taught to be wary as well as how to respond to these situations. If I hadn't been taught that strangers offering me a ride could potentially kidnap and kill me, I maybe would have been more willing to get into the car. If I hadn't been taught to say "no", despite their persistence and excuses, I maybe would have given in to the second guy out of pity or fear.
I didn't feel the need to be rude and start screaming and running away, because in these particular instances that could have escalated the situation. (Of course every situation is different, luckily these strangers weren't extremely aggressive)
I just knew to keep calm, and be polite but firm - to show that I would not give in to their requests, without making them angry (creepers aren't exactly emotionally stable).
One thing I could have done better though, was to call the police and tell them what happened after each incident - but I was too shaken to consider that option. Now that children are getting cell phones at younger ages, I will teach my children to call the police with their cell phone if anything like this were to happen.
Anyway, my biggest reason for writing this is to show that this can happen ANYWHERE to ANYONE.
I did not live in the ghetto, I lived in an upper middle-class suburban neighborhood that had some of the highest ranked high schools in the state of California. I was not approached by any thugs or gangsters - rather they looked like ordinary men that seemed friendly.
I'm grateful that I was taught to respond to this situations correctly, and I encourage everyone to please be careful! Especially those with children!!
Here's a slightly humorous picture that is relevant to the topic, haha
